OH MY GOD I really do not like the ending of the Hunger Games series.. It left me feeling quite unsatisfied.. It kind of reminded me of the ending of Scarlet Letter, where the protagonists go through a shitload of crap but do sortof get their happy ending together albeit as social outcasts - [SPOILER] In the epilogue it is revealed that the husband dies after a couple of years.. but at least that ending was understandable, things go wrong, people die of natural causes.. it left me with a feeling of hope though; it carried a message that love is a powerful force that can empower people and strengthen them, it was a happy ending tinged with the melancholy bitterness of life that I often find in good stories... whereas the ending of Mockingjay, it was one bad thing happening after another played out by a crazed protagonist who seemed to have lost it altogether.. too damaged beyond repair, too bitter to forgive, too depressed to be lovable. After the build-up of the first two books, the third installment had me feeling frustrating for 2/3 of the book.( Spoilers & continuation of rant Collapse )
Other than that I have been to a Lolita meet with a friend a week back. It was pretty fun. But going to the meet made me realize a few things.. First of all, that next time I would only consider attending a meeting with a nice outfit to wear, otherwise.. nono. I really didn't enjoy the disdainful looks on the other girls as I was wearing a dress borrowed from a friend, which was not "truly" lolita. Second, I am questioning whether or not this is the right moment to save up for Lolita, since I am actually quite in debt (government loans, but still, loans are loans!) and sometimes.. I still have mixed feelings about the silliness of wearing an extreme poofy skirt and frilly blouse in everyday life. Of course, once in a while it is fun, and as a costume lover I can understand and absolutely love the stuff, but sometimes the practical and lazy girl gets the best of me and waves it all off as "vanity to the point of excess". HMMMMM. I still love fashion, whether people find it a shallow and empty interest or not. I really do love to be visually enticed, shocked, pleased by what people wear, especially when it has a story behind it. I just love everything about clothing; the textures, the feeling, the colours, the atmosphere, the change it can make in people, the feeling and satisfaction you get when you wear something special..
As for wearing Lolita myself, I still have to decide. For one thing, I don't want to spend too much money on my clothes except or bags, shoes and coats maybe. The funny thing is that I never really had to spend a gazillion to get really good quality items.. for example yesterday I got a beautiful off-white cashmere sweater for 20 euros, embellished with silk ruffled sleeves and neckline in near mint condition, a piece that I am sure would've definitely cost 100+ euros normally. I'm really happy with this sweater, it's thin but really warm and so beautiul!.Anyway I always get a warm, fuzzy yet excited feeling inside when I'm able to find little treasures in thrit and 2nd hand shops.. it never really beats whatever feeling I get from a "new" item. Plus, used items are better for the environment and your parents can't complain about your ridiculous spending habits!
It's funny how whenever I mention the subject of MONEY or how much this hobby costs, other lolita's seem to simply laugh and keep quiet. I guess they have their own guilt feelings of empty bankaccounts/cc's and angry parents to deal with. In a way, Lolita truly is a silly fashion, considering how these (mostly) middle-class young girls sometimes spend thousands
of euros on their clothing (i know, not all - but a lot of serious committed lolita's do spend copious amounts). Derp. Yeah something sounds horribly wrong there, it does to me at least. Some of these girls go to extreme lengths of saving money to acquire their wardrobe, and I do admire their effort and commitment. But I'm not one to give up good food, coffee and fun-but-kind-of-expensive-social events just to own pretty clothes nah. In the end my love for food and coffee wins it over. But, a few pieces here and there 2nd hand or off-brand won't be too horrible a crime no?
Somehow it felt a bit unfair when I was at the lolita meeting, whether or not it was my selfconcious self talking, because some girls really did seem to judge me for my outfit while I really do genuinely love
the Lolita fashion style for its craftmanship and artistry - it didn't really matter however. My outfit mattered, and told them I was not worth talking to (lawl if you consider other people would think the exactly same about them if they were in a "normal" social setting). I guess you can never help people who feel better than others just because of some superficial reason, such as clothes. Yes clothes are things to wear, but it doesn't define people's worth no. It really gets on my nerves when people do that, but I guess that's how people work and originally and historically, that is also partly the function of clothing; showing one's social status. Meh - what am I getting worked up over? I was afterall at a Lolita meeting, a meeting for people committed to a certain fashion style. Well, for what it's worth I'm glad we live in this age and era where we are free to wear (to some extent) what we want to and clothing have become a form of self-expression and a way to identify oneself.. as well as a way of other people to identify you. I still hope that, as part of a non-mainstream subculteral fashionstyle, people will manage to ditch their attitudes and welcome other people as heartily as they would wish they had been welcomed. Afterall most people simply seek acceptance and companionship, whatever the motives behind them may be...
OKAY END OF RANT. :)