see what life has in store for me


Do I Know You From Real Life?
Then GTFO :D

Sharp focus, clear intent
My mantra for this month will be: SHARP FOCUS, CLEAR INTENT.

I. will. write. this thesis.

What does it mean to be brave?
Hello ghosts of LJ :) Here's another update whoo!
More goodness under cutCollapse )

Life in 2016
Sometimes I get this irresistable urge to update my LJ, like an old ghost that just won't stay dead but wants to live again. Thus LJ haunts me, every now and again and here I am, updating. The year is 2016 (gasp!) and I am turning - WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING F*** - 27 years old! *screams and runs around in circles like a maniac* Gosh. I missed writing like this, dem asterisks.

Rambling on LIFECollapse )
FANDOMSCollapse )

What i never update?

Okay so I decided to embark on a terrifying journey of fucking up my hair just for fun, because.. well it was long and I felt like messing with it. I decided to make the tips of my ombre hair even blonder but went WAY TOO FAR. Lol, now I have a huge chunk or RANDOM light brown hair xDDD Aaah, how do I fix this, it irritates me so much. I also cut my hair myself, for funs. I shall post some before and after pics.

Honestly it isn't so bad now that it's layered, you don't notice to chunky color block so much. But it still irks me. Hmmf. Well I'll let it grow out a bit and maybe dye the tips a weird color next time. Hehehehe I'm hoooked, messing with your hair is so much fun~ *__* I should've done this so much earlier geez.

Am I so bitter?
Fish bowl
Sometimes I get so mad when people start blabbering on about feminism when I tell them I'm following gender subjects and interested in that field. WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH AN OUTSPOKEN OPINION IF YOU DON'T KNOW OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT AAAAAGH. *pulls hair* I think it's been the 3rd or 4th time I got an unwanted opinion about how "annoying" feminists are with their ideas.. of yeah, 30 years ago! AAGh, they give me stuff the feminist movement brought foward more than 20 years agoooo...
Also what the fuck is wrong with being a feminist. I don't consider myself a feminist, because I don't even know what the word entails anymore, because everybody seems to have their opinions about it. Seriously dafuq!
Anyway I am pro gender equality of work, social status, salary and equal share of housework and such. Biologically speaking male and female are different, it would be silly to state that there should be equal numbers of female construction workers or something like that. So I don't understand what the problem is with being pro-female, why is everyone so defensive..? ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN WHY. If they would look around with a critical gaze, they would see that even in the west we are NOT equal yet. Just in the Netherlands alone the housework is done by mostly women, and the worst part is that HOUSEwork is not considered as work; damn it's just as hard work as any other job! (well I guess opinions can differ on that subject - but I think the callused hands and hunched shoulders of a hard working housewife is very telling it CAN be a hard and stressful job as any). Here it is almost a luxury problem; white women have the right to stay home and be a housewife, however the whole fucked up integration system thinks it's good for immigrant women (i.e. muslim women) to become "emancipated" and "integrate" and thus get a job (because again, housework is not considered real work). I don't necessarily think that letting immigrant groups intermingle with native dutch population is bad, I think integration will on the long run lead to more stability, however - the policy and the opinion pressed upon immigrant women are so SKEWED and WRONG imho. Immigrant women are portrayed as oppressed, backward and unemancipated and are targeted, why only women, in this society 50% is male and they have an equal share in whatever societal problems or mishaps exist! For instance Dutch government, please integrate my father into Dutch values and educate him to do his own dishes and make his own food and clean the house for example - WHY DON'T YOU EH? /end rant.

Meme time
Fish bowl
ranalinde  got me some questions~

Comment with your favorite color (or a color you really like, if you don't have a favorite) and I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better. Update your journal with the answers to the questions if you'd like. Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

My colour of choice: Mint/Cyan.
1. What is one thing that you've always wanted to do but haven't yet because of lack of skills/resources?
2. Out of all the fictional worlds you've encountered in stories, which is the one you would most love to live in and why?
3. If you could take over the life of one person, fictional or otherwise, who would you choose and why?
4. I don't remember you ever talking about video games before :O Do you play them and if so, what's your favourite?
5. If you could change one thing about this world, what would it be?
Answers under cutCollapse )

The questions were fun! I offer Vivi this pikachu as my thanks. :D

Rant on Hunger Games series & Lolita style
Fish bowl
OH MY GOD I really do not like the ending of the Hunger Games series.. It left me feeling quite unsatisfied.. It kind of reminded me of the ending of Scarlet Letter, where the protagonists go through a shitload of crap but do sortof get their happy ending together albeit as social outcasts - [SPOILER] In the epilogue it is revealed that the husband dies after a couple of years.. but at least that ending was understandable, things go wrong, people die of natural causes.. it left me with a feeling of hope though; it carried a message that love is a powerful force that can empower people and strengthen them, it was a happy ending tinged with the melancholy bitterness of life that I often find in good stories... whereas the ending of Mockingjay, it was one bad thing happening after another played out by a crazed protagonist who seemed to have lost it altogether.. too damaged beyond repair, too bitter to forgive, too depressed to be lovable. After the build-up of the first two books, the third installment had me feeling frustrating for 2/3 of the book.
Spoilers & continuation of rant Collapse )

Other than that I have been to a Lolita meet with a friend a week back. It was pretty fun. But going to the meet made me realize a few things.. First of all, that next time I would only consider attending a meeting with a nice outfit to wear, otherwise.. nono. I really didn't enjoy the disdainful looks on the other girls as I was wearing a dress borrowed from a friend, which was not "truly" lolita. Second, I am questioning whether or not this is the right moment to save up for Lolita, since I am actually quite in debt (government loans, but still, loans are loans!) and sometimes.. I still have mixed feelings about the silliness of wearing an extreme poofy skirt and frilly blouse in everyday life. Of course, once in a while it is fun, and as a costume lover I can understand and absolutely love the stuff, but sometimes the practical and lazy girl gets the best of me and waves it all off  as "vanity to the point of excess". HMMMMM. I still love fashion, whether people find it a shallow and empty interest or not. I really do love to be visually enticed, shocked, pleased by what people wear, especially when it has a story behind it. I just love everything about clothing; the textures, the feeling, the colours, the atmosphere, the change it can make in people, the feeling and satisfaction you get when you wear something special..
As for wearing Lolita myself, I still have to decide. For one thing, I don't want to spend too much money on my clothes except or bags, shoes and coats maybe. The funny thing is that I never really had to spend a gazillion to get really good quality items.. for example yesterday I got a beautiful off-white cashmere sweater for 20 euros, embellished with silk ruffled sleeves and neckline in near mint condition, a piece that I am sure would've definitely cost 100+ euros normally. I'm really happy with this sweater, it's thin but really warm and so beautiul!.Anyway I always get a warm, fuzzy yet excited feeling inside when I'm able to find little treasures in thrit and 2nd hand shops.. it never really beats whatever feeling I get from a "new" item. Plus, used items are better for the environment and your parents can't complain about your ridiculous spending habits!

 It's funny how whenever I mention the subject of MONEY or how much this hobby costs, other lolita's seem to simply laugh and keep quiet. I guess they have their own guilt feelings of empty bankaccounts/cc's and angry parents to deal with. In a way, Lolita truly is a silly fashion, considering how these (mostly) middle-class young girls sometimes spend thousands of euros on their clothing (i know, not all - but a lot of serious committed lolita's do spend copious amounts). Derp. Yeah something sounds horribly wrong there, it does to me at least. Some of these girls go to extreme lengths of saving money to acquire their wardrobe, and I do admire their effort and commitment. But I'm not one to give up good food, coffee and fun-but-kind-of-expensive-social events just to own pretty clothes nah. In the end my love for food and coffee wins it over. But, a few pieces here and there 2nd hand or off-brand won't be too horrible a crime no?
Somehow it felt a bit unfair when I was at the lolita meeting, whether or not it was my selfconcious self talking, because some girls really did seem to judge me for my outfit while I really do genuinely love the Lolita fashion style for its craftmanship and artistry - it didn't really matter however. My outfit mattered, and told them I was not worth talking to (lawl if you consider other people would think the exactly same about them if they were in a "normal" social setting). I guess you can never help people who feel better than others just because of some superficial reason, such as clothes. Yes clothes are things to wear, but it doesn't define people's worth no. It really gets on my nerves when people do that, but I guess that's how people work and originally and historically, that is also partly the function of clothing; showing one's social status. Meh - what am I getting worked up over? I was afterall at a Lolita meeting, a meeting for people committed to a certain fashion style. Well, for what it's worth I'm glad we live in this age and era where we are free to wear (to some extent) what we want to and clothing have become a form of self-expression and a way to identify oneself.. as well as a way of other people to identify you. I still hope that, as part of a non-mainstream subculteral fashionstyle, people will manage to ditch their attitudes and welcome other people as heartily as they would wish they had been welcomed. Afterall most people simply seek acceptance and companionship, whatever the motives behind them may be...

My lolita wardrobe
My interest in Japanese fashion has piqued again (for the 237482th time) and I've fallen in L-O-V-E with the EGL(elegant gothic lolita) style all over again. Before I was too poor to actually pursue this err, hobby, but since I'm a bit older and therefore a bit richer I am thinking of getting a few things to fill up my otherwise very non-costumey wardrobe, which saddens me because I love costumes. Especially periodic costumes, favorites have to be Victorian and the Chinese Hanfu~ *0*
Anyway I was browing through fanplusfriend website for some things and I managed to put together a few things that, if I ever get the money, would buy to start building up my EGL closet.

Under cutCollapse )

LOL, wow so much stuff. I better save up, I haven't even added shoes, accessories and stockings yet... xD


Log in

No account? Create an account